kisah kau dan aku

Suasana sepi menyelubungi kami. lidahku kelu. aku serba salah. fikiranku berkecamuk dan runsing. adakah aku menyukaimu dalam diam. sungguh aku keliru di saat ini.

aku ingat lagi. semuanya bermula di sini. kafe. kali pertama aku melihat wajahmu. aku terpana. sungguh kekuasaan Allah mengatasi segalanya. rupamu saling tak tumpah seperti insan yang pernah aku sayang.

bermula dari ketika itu, satu perasaan aneh muncul dalam benakku. perasaan yang sama pernah aku rasa terhadap bekas kekasihku suatu masa dahulu. namun Tuhan lebih menyayangi dirinya. die pergi sebelum sempat aku menatap wajahnya buat kali terakhir.

ya, cinta memang pelik. aku sudah jatuh cinta terhadapmu pada pandangan pertama.

namamu indah. seindah rupa parasmu yang ayu. tapi kenapa engkau tidak pernah menyelami perasaan ini? benarkah renungan dan pandanganku terhadapmu selama ini tidak mendatangkan apa-apa makna kepadamu?

berbicaralah denganku. luahkan segala yang terbuku di hatimu. aku ingin sekali mendengar suaramu yang lunak itu. jangan biarkan diriku lemas dalam segala persoalan yang tidak pernah kutemu jawapannya. kerana jawapannya ada padamu!

"kamil..."

aku menoleh dengan perasaan berdebar-debar. bibir mungil itu seakan ingin melimpahkan bicara. aku sabar menanti butir percakapanmu.

"sebenarnya aku juga menyimpan perasaan yang sama terhadapmu..."

rozana tunduk. mukanya kulihat kemerahan. mungkin malu. aku tertawa dalam hati. comel. (hakhak!)

"aku sukakanmu," rozana menyambung.

benarkah apa yang aku dengar ini? aku mencubit pahaku. sakit (seyes sakit). aku tidak bermimpi. tiada perasaan yang dapat kugambarkan di saat ini. aku terlalu gembira! cintaku tidak bertepuk sebelah tangan. cintaku berbalas.

sambil berpimpinan tangan, kami meninggalkan kafe yang mencatat 1001 kenangan terindah antara kami berdua. (cliche,happy ending)


wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

cerpen yang aku tulis masa sem 1. aku tak ingat cam mana aku boleh terkarang cerita jiwang ni. rasa menarik untuk diletak dalam blog. tapi cerita ni tiada kena mengena dengan sesiapa. hanyalah lontaran idea kreatif aku di saat tidak sibuk semasa sem 1.(ada masa nak tulis benda merapu ni). kalau tak, jangan harap. baek aku baca quran. dapat pahala. hakhak!

sekian :)

seriously not funny

where the hell is my statistics portfolio softcopy?

definitely i have to retype back. all of it. yes people, another sleepless nite :(


please.please.please.

Ya Allah.please strengthen my heart.

feeling so depressed rite now.



hope u will do fine there.
take very good care of yourself.

:)

selamat malam syg

i wanna go home. where i belong. i wanna have your attention. your love. your miracle hands tangled over my body. your eyes looks deep down into mine. you listen to my heart. to answer to my feelings. its all i need. can you?

yes. im pretty sure you can. my existence always fill inside your pure heart. you worry about me. you keep thinking about my condition. u just cannot lose me. and my soul just can feel it. cause i am your daughter :)
(what are you thinking, huh people? no boys for the moment for sure)


things are getting loathsome i shall say. i just dun know. my heart is somehow has two separate life. which i could not define its feelings. totally a complete mess and confusing. i cant bear it anymore. its killing me from inside. apparently.

i have send in my IA. the very final of finals. its feel just like heaven. no burden to shoulder. no more sleepless night. nothing to bugging me around. afterall, i just have done it people.

but wait. my nerves are getting significantly depressed over IB thingy. the exam. to be precise. yes. i should focus on revision. left behind all those wobbled things. and make the most of myself. find the better of me. i wanna fly.

:)

He picked me to be among 'em for awhile

Yes. im dying. terribly lost in the very own world. im no one. and i hv no one. im just far away. gone for too long. i lost in the middle of the way. i cant find my way back. and now i come across to my conscious mind. i find the ultimate meaning why human were created. to perform the duty toward their Creator. back to the only One. back to His guidance. can i be like those who were promised by the Jannah? shine by the light. exposed to the people where we could talk about His ability, great power. i need a place. to give me the wisdom. to show me the way. to enlighten me whenever im stuck in the dark. yes. i really need You. i need Your blessing. to flood me with Your true love. to fill my heart with sakinah. to have the persistence faith towards You. i know You will not let me indulge in this dreamy world. gasping so hardly as if i was drowning so hardly in the middle of thousands of ripples of waterflows. im looking for You inside my blackened heart. i need to wash away the moments where i totally forgetting You. i need to cleanse my sins. i need to reborn. i need to have You. i need You, indeed.

Bless, Guide, Enlighten me Ya Rabb.

Ameen.

aku mahu kau tahu

i rarely talk about my friends in dis blog ><

so, here it goes...

specially dedicated to tanpa-korg-sapela-aku friends - didi, ain, azie, achik, hajar, haulah, sab, fiza...

i just cant seem to find word to express how lucky i am to hv u as my besties, here in kmb. too many things we had gone through together.


we stay up late at nite to finish up works
we study during the exam
we share stories
we gossip about people
we laugh at people
we imitate others
we share feelings
we talk about boys
we heal our heart after breakup
we make noises
we eat, drink, sleep, pray, take shower(?)
we wake up late in the morning
we late for classes
we break fasting
we do maths
we play pepsi cola
we enjoy ourself at outdoor gym
we go for madness shoppin sales
we fight, we insult, we mad
but in here (heart)..
we care, we love, we are together


its all that makes me alive till then.

thank you, u guys really make me appreciate more about life.




and it would be great if someone could sing to me kotak hati with acoustic guitar, seriously.
please.

:)

light will guide you

once, i hv been thinking about dis matter.

"mak, org want to go shoppin dis chinese new year. huargh, last saturday u went to kl, i know i couldnt follow u. it's all because of the works! mak, org are going to miss the sales, the discounts n all dat shits (no, i dun say 'shit' to my mom) cause u say we have to go for 'keluar 3 hari' during cny. so sad, mak! "

ok, dats me. n definitely thats not the thing for u now. got nothing to do with ur life, totally. why u wasting ur money? u could have done something that could ensure ur way to Him. why u so eager to slave urself to this horny world flooded with all the kenikmatan n so ever. does all that things will sure ur path to the Jannah?

what's other things that more important than Allah, The Almighty?

ok, i get ur point. now i remember. i realised. thank you, heart.



.........
went to see teacher in the morning.. but, teacher a bit emo today... i guess i'm not lucky dis time... till now still thinking bout it... n i hv to reconcile back my tok essay... it's all went messed up (ok, exaggerated..)


plus, no more harsh words, unless needed.

undisclosed desire

I know you've suffered but I don't want you to hide

It's cold in lovers I won't let u be denied,
The soon then, I'll make u feel pure
And trust me, you can be sure
thanks 4 visiting us www.OriginaLyric.info
I want to reconcile for the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You trick your lovers that you're wicked and divine,
You may be a sinner, but your innocence is mine

Please me
Show me how it's done
Tease me
You are the one
Check our Mobile Video @ www.mOOven.info

cun saja

intricated mind

Lagu ini bukan di radio setiap hari untukmu
Lagu ini tidak perlu kau kembali kepadaku
Lagu ini hanya ingin kau fahami ku sudah teruskan hidupku
Semuanya cun saja

Tak perlu tinggalkan pesanan
Tak perlu buat panggilan
Ku tak perlu lagi kalau kau cuba mintak maaf
Lupakan sahaja
Diriku cun saja

Duduk di rumah seorang saja
Menulis lagu cinta
Menggunakan kisah ini tuk ceritakan

Cun hidupku kini cun saja
Sejak kita memang cun semuanya
Sejak pisah itulah permulaannya untukku berhati-hati dgn buaya
Ngap ngap pendirianku tegap
Jumlah kali kita bertengkar memang genap
Untuk aku ke tahap ini silap kita memang patut sama-sama kene sepak pak pak
Tapi bukan niat aku tuk salahkan dirimu
Aku sedar ku juga ada kekuranganku
Tapi kalau bersifat mementingkan diri sendiri untuk kebaikkan bukan kurang ajar itu

Duduk di rumah seorang saja
Mengarang lagu cinta
Dengan mengembalikan kisah kitakan tapi jangan perasaan
Ohh..

Walaupun ini bab yang baru ada masa arah ku tak tentu..
Tetap rindu kehadiranmu, tidak patut..
Kerna ku takut..

Lagu ini,
Tandanya kamu masih sayangkan ku...
Walaupun sudah tidak bersama lagi..

Lagu ini,
Tandanya ku masih rindukanmu..
Walaupun sudah tidak bersama lagi..

Lagu ini,
Dengan lagu ini ku ingin memberitahu kamu bahawaku okay..
Aku okay..

Lagu ini,
Dengan lagu ini ku ingin memberitahu kamu jangan cakap tak boleh.



:)

another gloomy-ness

asal asyik nak jeles x tentu pasal ni?


tgk blogger yg smooth english jeles...
tgk pompuan cantik cam maya karin jeles..
tgk org laen result sem cm gampang hebat jeles...
tgk couple yg agak2 bahagia jeles...
tgk family org laen yg mesra jeles...
tgk kwn2 yg dah siap ia,ee,tok jeles...
tgk dak kelas yg dah siap keje jeles...
tgk dak yg dpt bilik sensorg jeles...
tgk stok makanan kwn cm byk jeles...
tgk org laen ade teman nk pegi rehat jeles...
tgk org laen dapat blaja dgn tekun jeles...
dan tgk manusia yg sentiasa dalam rahmat Allah pon leh jeles...


nape aku jeles sgt ni?

sbb aku tau aku xkan dapat sume yg aku nak...

bkn masenye. bkn skg. bkn rezeki aku lg.

tapi aku syukur dgn ape yg Allah berikan.



alhamdulilah.

damned recovery

salam...


i'm back...

yet,keep going on my track... trying damn hard to stay focus... never ever wanna go astray... n i wish i could always be reminded of HIM, The Almighty... in each and every single breath i hold...

truly, i am currently feeling down... things happened in very front of my eyes... n i never wanted it to occur, in my own family... specifically, between my eldests... i become the superwoman who release the tense up between them... shoulder to shoulder i am located precisely... n i was so afraid if i might get hit just by the head... luckily, i dun get hurt (but my heart is terribly broke)... n i managed to stop the quarrel...

shit! it really freaks me out... i am fucking the only person in the house at that time (beside my mom)... n i only can help myself to let the damn tears pouring my cheeks..

wish this damn thing wont happen anymore...

wish they could back together like before...

wish my heart never feels this smoking shit koyak.